As mentioned in an earlier post, my dad plays the banjo. The banjo (or rather banjos, he has a whole fleet of them (is that the collective noun?) in different shapes and sizes, big ones, small ones, fat ones, thin ones, long ones, short ones (ooo it’s like Dr Seuss) but all equally loud)..
..as I was saying the banjo and I do not have the best of relationships. Being the daughter of a banjo enthusiast, I think I’m conditioned into hating the infernal things and making rude comments about them whenever I can. If you think this is over the top, invite a banjo player to move into your house for 18 years to play the banjo very loudly in your ear (although loud is the only volume the banjo has) and then you’ll feel like I do. However, since moving out of home and not being “treated“ to daily banjo recitals, my attitude towards the banjo has mellowed slightly and I have come to realise that my dad is actually a pretty good banjoist; in fact, not wanting to brag or anything BUT Radio 4 have asked him to present a programme about banjos. It’s on Radio 4 on Tuesday 23rd January at 1.30pm so you can all sit and listen during your lunch break, tapping your toes and expanding your general knowledge/party chat at the same time.
Banjo players enjoy a privileged position in the musical world: they have had the most jokes written about them of all musicians anywhere in the world ever! This is because banjos are inherently funny (it’s all in the name) and so are the people that play them (that’s my get out clause in case any Laundry customers are banjo players). These jokes are equally applicable to viola players, but are at least ten times funnier when they’re about banjos. My favourite funny about banjos is actually a true story: my dad knew a dedicated banjo player from America, we’ll call her Jean for legal reasons. She had a problem with her ears resulting in slight deafness. One day Jean had an operation and had her hearing restored. Jean was very excited about this, until she picked up her beloved banjo and discovered that now she could hear again she hated the sound it made and has never played again! If only I could cure my dad’s deafness. (His is banjo induced - ah the irony).
Let us know what you think of the programme and if you play any weird instruments. Here are some of my favourite jokes about banjos. I’ve developed a large stock of them over the years!
My favourite:
Q: A good banjo player, a bad banjo player and the tooth fairy are stood in a room. There’s a five pound note on the floor. Who picks it up?
A: the bad banjo player, the other two are just figments of your imagination!
Q: what’s the definition of perfect pitch?
A: throwing a banjo in a skip without touching the sides
Q: if you drop a penny and a banjo off a cliff, which one will hit the floor first?
A: who cares, you’ve got rid of the banjo!
Q: what’s the difference between a banjo and a trampoline?
A: you take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline
Q: why do some people take an instant dislike to banjo players?
A: It saves time in the long run. (this my favourite - Rach)
Q: How is playing the banjo like throwing the javelin blindfolded?
A: you don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention
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