Loony Lawsuits
Ed Morello inspired this week’s email as our comedy advisor, when he told me about this…
There was a story about a guy in the States who was diagnosed with multi personality disorder. He had 7 separate identities. 6 were upstanding citizens. The 7th was a violent alcoholic (well we all have those days!). The 6 nice personalities hired a lawyer to sue the 7th for ruining their lives. If they won their case their insurance company had to pay out $750,000. The only problem was all 7 of them had a shared bank account so the 7th guy spent the money getting drunk.
Other silly court cases:
Chamberlain Group vs Skylink Technologies – Chamerlain Group, the garage door makers sued their rivals for making remote controls that could open any garage door. They argued that it was illegal for Skylink to design something which could access their computer program to make doors open sesame. So they wanted people to locked out of their garages unless they buy a big ole expensive Chamberlain remote – luckily for people like me they lost the case. I lost my remote control for my stereo for three years – then it turned up in my grandpa’s trunk. Woo – now I can play stuff on random again and turn off the turbo base. _ imagine not being able to get into my garage…not that I have one…or a car….or a house sniff.
In District of Columbia Judge Roy Pearson filed a lawsuit against his neighbourhood dry cleaner over a misplaced pair of trousers. The original alteration work on the pants was $10.50. According to court papers, Pearson claims he deserves $65 million under the District’s consumer protection law that provides for damages of $1,500 per violation per day. Pearson says he deserves millions for the more than 1,000 hours spent to represent himself in the battle, for his litigation costs, for “mental suffering, inconvenience and discomfort,” for leasing a car every weekend for 10 years (what’s that for – driving to another dry cleaners??), and for a replacement suit.
Silly silly man – he must enjoy suffering, really.
Taxpayers were left with a £10,000 bill after a council took a farmer to court — claiming his pigs scratched their BUMS on protected trees. David Sunderland had been summonsed for wilfully damaging the beech trees in a field which housed 80 of his rare British Saddle pigs.
Council inspectors said bark was dislodged on 22 trees. But a tree specialist argued the damage happened before the pigs were in the field. Bradford council withdrew its prosecution at the last minute and the case was struck out. David was awarded £4,500 towards court costs and reckons the council faced a similar bill. He said: “It was a total waste of money.” One council member said: “It’s an odd thing to go to court for.”
WHY?
Marcy Meckler. While shopping at a mall, Meckler stepped outside and was “attacked” by a squirrel that lived among the trees and bushes. And “while frantically attempting to escape from the squirrel and detach it from her leg, [Meckler] fell and suffered severe injuries,” her resulting lawsuit says. That’s the mall’s fault, the lawsuit claims, demanding in excess of $50,000, based on the mall’s “failure to warn” her that squirrels live outside.
I’m rather scared now.
Odd bits:
Cheerleaders in Pennsylvania fought a ban on dangerous cheerleading stunts.
A camel named Bert was accepted as Reserve Deputy Sheriff for the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department San Dimas California.
The most stolen painting is the Rembrandt painting of Jacob III de Cheyn. It has been stolen four times and has each time been anonymously returned.