Introducing Stephanie
Greetings! With this email I am going to introduce myself, Steph – new member of the Launderettes, to you, our lovely and supportive Laundry customers (your reputations precede you, it seems!), with a certain panache, verve and jingle jangle of accompaniment, so here we go…
Scene One opens to reveal a dusty old vaudeville theatre, the red velvet of the chairs slightly worn; the gold paint of the cornices of the small stage peeling like suppressed yawns. Bright, elegant folk *this is you* file in animatedly and take their seats, the atmosphere of the theatre, with its evident history and understated charm cosying up to them like an old friend. - Prr prr ba ba ba ba chi ka chi ka chi ka bang *this is a drum roll*- Pa paaaa! *curtains open with fanfare to reveal Stephanie dressed as a Cossack*
- Ladies and gentlemen! For you, a song! *3 verses are sung to the tune of “Happy Birthday”* My name is Stephanie,I’m a bit of a monkey,I like bananas if they’re fair tradeAnd a variety of herb tea.
A few of my favourite things,Are creating lists and wearing rings,I admire linguists and surrealistsAnd the joy that dancing brings. I’m not much of a thesp, But I’m trying my best,Please be supportive of my attempt,And clap along with the rest.
*Curtain falls to thunderous applause* END